After a hurricane, comes a rainbow ✩ (a_fantasia) wrote,
After a hurricane, comes a rainbow ✩

[multi-chaptered] Kanjani8; All our memories {7/8}

Fandom: Kanjani8
Title: All our memories { fit each other perfectly }
Pairing: Shibutani Subaru x Yasuda Shota
Genre: romance, angst, High school!AU
Rating: PG
Summary: Back in elementary school, Subaru gave all of his memories to protect Shota from that accident. Now that they have met again in high school, only Shota remembers what happened. Will he be able to leave Subaru before they get closer? Is disappearing again the only solution?
Notes: rainy_fruit is my fantastic beta ♥
I had a valid excuse for not having updated my fic two weeks ago, but if I haven't done it in the last few days it's because I'm too lazy. Besides, I'm currently dealing with my muse to see if I get to write something at least acceptable before the end of July. This means I'm not in the best mood to speak about fics, but I also don't want to make you wait anymore. So, I'll try to post chapter eight this week as well. I apologize for not having answered to your previous comments yet and I hope you like this chapter too. Thanks for your support!
Other chapters: 1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 8 ~ Epilogue

It was his birthday. His mother had insisted on giving sweets to all his new classmates so they could see that he was a nice guy. Subaru didn’t agree. He thought that if he gave them something the first day, if they knew it was his birthday, they’d think he was boasting to get new friends quickly. There was no nice guy during those times; you were either cool or uncool from the first day, and everything from then on depended on how your classmates labeled you when you went through that door. Subaru was pretty aware of that.

They didn’t quite like him anyway. He was left alone during recess, next to those boys who still thought they would be given a new chance to turn themselves into the cool people. He didn’t give a damn about it. He was already used to having fun by himself. But still, he felt kind of sad for not even celebrating his birthday with anybody.

It was then when he found Shota. He couldn’t remember everything exactly; yet the image of that kid’s smile, precious like a treasure, kept coming into his mind. Even when he was reading the letter and finally understanding the thing with the mud cake, the sticks, and the lollipop, that smile would fill his recovered memories.

Always by your side. What was so difficult about that that he wouldn’t understand despite having read the letter almost ten times since Shota gave it to him five days ago?

He wasn’t angry either. Why? What did he gain by letting anger flow into his mind? The only thing he felt bad about was Shota having hidden all of that from him since the day they met again. It would have been less troublesome from the beginning. Now, his past feelings were strangely mixing up with the feelings he had for the 16-year-old Shota.

Every day, he waited for him to turn up at their place. He missed the smell of his bento box; he now knew why it was familiar. He missed the sound of the strings of his guitar; now they could sing their complete song together. He missed everything like his kid-like face, his expressive eyes, his full lips, and his messy hair. It was almost unbearable. Until now, he couldn’t even imagine how much he missed Shota.

Subaru finally encountered him after classes, next to the pigeonhole where he usually left his shoes each morning. He was holding something that looked like Subaru’s lyrics notebook. He hadn’t realized it was missing until he saw it in Shota’s hands; he had probably brought it home the day he gave him the letter. However, it seemed like he didn’t want to be seen by his senpai. He tried to leave quickly when he noticed Subaru coming up to him.

“I’m proud of what I did,” Subaru said. “And I don’t feel ashamed or angry with you because of what happened that day.”

Shota put the notebook into the pigeonhole, turned his back on Subaru, and made some steps towards the exit. Subaru spoke again.

“It’s up to you now,” he added. “If you stop feeling guilty, we could continue where we left off.”

“We have changed,” Shota answered. “I don’t have the right to meddle in your life again as if nothing happened.”

“You have all rights,” Subaru told him, coming closer to his back. “Now more than ever, I know what you mean to me, and--”

“I can’t give you any more,” the younger faltered. “I only came here to bring your memories back. Apart from that, all I can do…” Subaru sighed, slicking his hair back with his hand. Shota gulped. “All I can do is give you trouble.”

“Well, that’s not true. You actually gave me much more than my memories,” Subaru whispered, placing his arms on Shota’s shoulders and holding the notebook with the arranged lyrics up. “Now I know I like this. I want to be a musician.” His kohai attempted to move, but he held him back. “I want you to record a demo with me.”

Shota lowered his head and sighed when Subaru breathed against his nape. It was the second option. He was right. And now he didn’t know how to avoid him anymore. He felt sorry, so, so sorry. He had always wanted to give back to him in some way, for all he had done for him, for his attention, for his protection, and for his love. But he was a coward, and he’d never paid him back.

“You can’t refuse,” Subaru said against his skin. “You still owe me one, Shota.”

It was a cold winter afternoon. His nerves played a dirty trick on him. He took leave of his senses when he saw Shota being beaten by those bastards. They were laughing too loudly; he’d have strangled them with his own hands, killed each one of them if they had given him time. Shota was gasping for breath; they had him against that tree. Subaru screamed, “Stop it! Don’t you dare do anything to him!” and the others laughed. He heard the sound of the wheels of a car. The road was close. Sakai burst into laughter. In the twinkling of an eye, Shota’s body was falling on the asphalt. Subaru ran, ran, and ran. His legs couldn’t go any more, but he got there in time. He jumped and embraced little Shota for the last time, trying to cover him with his own body. A hard hit on his back; little Shota’s eyes wide open. A dark liquid. All black and empty.

Thanks for reading~

Tags: ex: multi-chaptered, f: kanjani8, g: angst, g: high school!au, g: romance, lan: english, p: subassan/yasuba

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